"When I Was Cruel" by Elvis Costello

Alright, I'm all comfortable now and I'm ready to rant.

Recently, I noticed that people younger than me have taken an interest in lecturing me. In case they have forgotten, I'm older than them. If I wanna go out and have a few drinks, I will. If I want to go out and get completely fuckin' bombed, that's my business. That paper I should be working on in the meantime will get done when I say it does. Reality check: I'm a second-semester junior with a 3.90 GPA. There was a reason I worked my ass off my first two years: So I could party balls now. A wise man keeps telling me, "Don't take any guff off these swine." You know what? I won't.

I haven't played disc golf in almost two weeks. Maybe that's why I'm so cranky...no, wait a second...my life sucks balls anyway. Nevermind.

Damn, man. This semester's almost over. What do I have to show for it? First and foremost, I'm a lacrosse player now. That is truly excellent. Probably next on the list is the damage to my liver since August. That definitely ranks up there. Well, I'd actually put the massive debt incurred above the liver thing. That's gonna bite my ass some day. That's about it. I tried some new stuff over the past few months. Most of it failed. Remember when I was going to church? Yeah, I haven't been in over a month. Who knows? Maybe next semester will be better. (Goddamn, I get tired of saying that.)

"No direction home. A complete unknown." Bob Dylan

There it is. My life summed up in six words. I don't know where I've come from and I don't know where I'm going. Neither does anyone else.

I haven't seen much of the world in my life. I've seen even less of it on my own. I'd like to remedy that. But I don't have any money and I'll be damned if I'm joining the military. I want to see the rest of America. I want to see Europe. I want to drive to the end of the Pan American Highway, maybe stop to see Macchu Picchu along the way. I want to learn how to surf. I want to hike through Tibet. I want to know what the Mediterranean smells like at dusk.

How am I supposed to know where I want to end up if I don't know what's out there? "No direction home." That's what I'm left with.

The Jobey Poll
You're not going to comment any-damn-way. No poll for you.

Party Politics

This semester, I've partied more than I have in any other period in my life, and I think through the haze of drunkenness and euphoria I've learned a couple of things.

Number one, I like large parties with mass quantities of alcohol and other favors and plenty of music played at reasonable levels. Lots of people getting wasted and having a good-ass time.

Number two, which is a reason for number one, is that I have become turned off, indeed paranoid, of the small party scene. Sure, I've had some great times just chillin' with small groups and having a few drinks, but that just hasn't been the case recently. Not long ago, there was a small (6-8 person) party I attended that went to hell in a hand basket. Interpersonal battles that had been brewing for weeks, nay, months began before my very eyes. Seriously, there was a point where through my intoxication, I wished the cops would have busted in. In the past some of my worst experiences with alcohol have come from small group parties (OU/Texas weekend, the crying incident, etc.).

So, this last weekend, I was faced with a dilemma: Hang out at a small party with people I had known for a long time or attend a large party across town with some other people I had known for a long time. Now, realizing that I had had a rough past week or so, I knew that my personal life would eventually infect the small party making it a worse experience for those present. I took into account that my desire to get drunk and vent to someone would be a selfish proposition and that in that atmosphere it would be inevitable.

There were other factors leading to my decision to eventually choose the large party: the more favorable male-to-female ratio, the fact that said party was a toga party. I mention the latter because I have always wanted to attend such an event, as most of my friends can attest. Using the former, it could be said, violated the rule of "Bro's Before Ho's." But, honestly, can anyone fault me for that? Doubtful.

My choice to lie in order to leave the small party was a bad call on my part. My friends deserve better than that and I regret it. But at this point in my life, hedonistic calculus is taking over my decision-making process. I gambled on one of the maxims and lost, in doing so, I obtained the maximum pain on one side and the minimum pleasure on the other.

But, it was a risk I felt I had to take.

So, to the haters, the cockblockers, the critics, the racists, the cops, I say, "Let a playa play." And to the kegstanders, the beer pong pros, the party sluts, the beer bongers, and everybody on the dance floor, I say, "Here I come, my babies."

"Man of the Hour" by Pearl Jam

For those of you keeping count (i.e. my Dashboard), this is post number 50 on thejobey.blogspot.com. Wow. A few more posts and we'll be drawing social security or something.

Anywho...Just a few general observations, then I'm done for the night.

First, I listened to The Strokes' Is This It last night as I was going to sleep. Damn, that took me back--cruising the Springs in the Stach after school junior year. That was four years ago, man. Time flies.

Second, if I have to deal with a Budd Dwyer situation in my career in broadcast, I will quit. Throw up my hands (probably my lunch, too) and walk out of the editing booth. That's all that is.

Third, Oklahoma Lacrosse rules. Want a shirt? $10. Call me.

That's all I got for now, folks. It's Stillwater or bust for me this weekend. I don't want to be anywhere near Norman until the Red/White Lacrosse scrimmage.

The Jobey Poll
I need to go get my laundry. Make up a question to answer, but don't tell me the question, just give me an answer.

Hurray!!!

I got me some new
sweatpants at target today
comfy, very cheap

"Untitled" by D'Angelo

For the record, I was considering other songs. "Fight Test" and "Ego Trippin" from the Flaming Lips came to mind, as did "The Drugs Don't Work" by The Verve, but I couldn't decide, so I thought "Untitled" would be funny.

I had an eventful weekend. I came moments away from a nervous breakdown when I discovered my car had been towed on Saturday. Thankfully, I had friends and family around to help see me through it all and my first lacrosse game on Sunday so I could leave some stuff behind on the field.

It was a confusing time. And even now as I prepare to leave it behind I have more questions than answers from it. But that's alright with me because the questions are all about the future, which means I want to have one.

The Jobey Poll
What's the world got in store?

"Just Like Tom Thumb's Blue" by Bob Dylan

"Everybody said they'd stand behind me
When the game got rough
But the joke was on me
There was nobody even there to call my bluff
I'm going back to New York City
I do believe I've had enough."