Dirtbags, Diapers, and Chicken Shit.

That's a pretty high bar to set for one post. There's a lot going on there. Let's start with a timeline:

Thursday: Scenic River Commission accepts a $1.1 million donation from a poultry industry lobby. For those of you keeping score, that donation is equal to about 3 times the budget of the commission. A donation like that coming on the heels of Oklahoma Attorney General Drew Edmondson's announcement of a lawsuit against the poultry industry because their operations fuck up our rivers seems very strange. But the SRC voted 7-4 to accept the payoff...er...donation.

Tuesday: Rep. Tom "Bugman" Delay (R-TX) finally gets indicted for some shady campaign finance dealings and, despite the protection he was promised last November by his Republican colleagues, he stepped down from his Majority Leader position.

This very day: 1) John Roberts confirmed by the Senate and becomes the new Chief Justice of SCOTUS. There it is.

2) CASA BONITA IN TULSA IS CLOSING AT THE END OF THIS WEEK. This is the end of an era, my friends. I know a lot of you will say good riddance. I know a lot of you will lament the fact that our local Casa Bonita always lacked the cliff divers those rotten bastards up in Denver always bragged about. But this is a loss of a local institution.

I'll admit the food, with the obvious exception of the sopapillas, was pretty bad and horrendously overpriced, but where else could you engourge yourself with enchiladas in a cave, or next to a waterfall, or a Mexican courtyard and be seranaded by a Mariachi band, and play a game of skiball? Tulsa's Casa Bonita has been in business since 1971. There's a good story in today's Tulsa World Business section about the restaurant (I don't do deeplinking, so you'll have to check it out for yourself).

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Other than the dirty diaper incident, what is you most memorable Casa Bonita moment?

Bitches be trippin.

Has everybody noticed how all these devastating hurricanes are "females?" Bitches be trippin'! Is it that time of the month for these hurricane bitches? Damn y'all need to get some Midol, some chocolates, rent "Waiting to Exhale" and raise up off the Gulf Coast's nuuuutz.

What's up with bitches who be hatin' on my people and me? Bitches be trippin'! Just because we be keepin' real and y'all bitches' asses be half-steppin.' Fuck it--That's just that bullshit.

What's up with waitresses at the Brewery? You hook me up with beer all night, knowing I'm underage, and expect me not to try and get your digits? Bitches be trippin.'

Condoleeza Rice. That bitch be trippin, dog.

Y'all see that bitch on the front page of the Local section in today's Tulsa World? Bitch be trippin.' Shiiiiit...

That bitch talking about her period on her cell phone too damn loud be trippin'.

That dude who looks like a bitch down at B.K. be trippin'. Yeah, bitch, I like the Sourdough Bacon and Swiss. So, raise up off deeez nuuuts and gimme my sandwich, mothafucka.

Lil' Kim's new album is getting mad props from the Source and King...actually, that bitch can trip any way she pleases. Chuuuch.

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Hurricane remnants hitting Oklahoma? Explitive-Deleted pleeease.

Big WTF?

I caught a glimpse of some Fox News today and I'm not sure why people hate it.

On the screen, all at the same time, mind you, there was live footage of National Guardsmen rescuing a dog in New Orleans, stock footage of children reciting the pledge of allegiance and a banner reading FOX NEWS ALERT: ROBERTS QUESTIONING COMES TO CLOSE,.

I thank God the sound was off while I was watching. The unholy mixture of sounds it would take to combine all of those elements into one story would probably cause my ears to bleed.

Like I said before, I don't understand how people can claim Fox is brainwashing people and feeding them uncensored Republican press releases. How can anybody get any useful information from that clusterfuck?

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3 papers a day: Does that make me a news junkie?

"The Food" by Common and Kanye West

for the gas tax
Polls are open today for the vote over an increase in tax on motor fuels. The question on the ballot, if approved, would raise the tax on gasoline by 5 cents per gallon and on diesel by 8 cents. The tax increase would be used to pay for road and bridge repairs. Another part of the question would guarantee that the legislature can not lower transporation spending.

Preliminary polls conducted by state papers have found that up to 75% of potential voters are against the tax increase. With gas prices going through the damn roof, who can fault them for their disdane for paying more money?

Well...I can. Our state has the worst bridges in the nation, and I've driven enough to know our roads, in general, are pretty shitty, too. So, to the voters of Oklahoma, I would like to ask, "What good is the extra 50 or 60 cents in your pocket when you fill up if the roads aren't worth a damn and crossing bridges means gambling your life?"

It's simply not worth the risk. Vote yes.

A Note to those who helped the Republicans get a majority in the state House and are opposed to this tax: Maybe if the people you installed had been better public servants, they would have helped fund transportation projects instead of giving out those fucking ridiculous $30 tax rebates. If they had practiced some actual "economic responsibility," this tax may not be necessary.

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Did you vote? If so, how'd you vote? If not: 1) Why not? 2) How would you have voted?

A Tip of the Cap to A. Casey

I'm sorry, bro. Making a list of what I'm thankful for seemed like a great idea after such a weird weekend, so I'm doing it.

What I'm Thankful for This Labor Day Weekend:

• O.A.R., specifically their songs "Drunk" and "Naked"
• Griffin Park and the people who play disc golf there
• The Jimi Hendrix Experience's BBC Sessions
• My ex-roommate (Get your ass back in college, Wayne!)
• Sublime: Stories, Tales, Lies, and Exaggerations
• The Stachenvagon
• "Big Salty Tears" by the Ziggens

Things That I am, Conversely, not Thankful for:

• People who treat me like a child
• People who don't call me back after the game on Saturday
• Homework
• Texas Christian University
• Texas Christians

Things that are kind of a toss-up at this point:

• Play-It-Again Sports (They can't string my raquet, but their golf disc selection is great.)
• John Roberts (I'm just not sure. I mean, it could be worse, right? Does anyone know if he's going to help overturn Roe v. Wade for sure? Shit! I don't know. Fuck!)
• The Pro Starfire (I've seen the type of distance and accuracy I can get with it by throwing sidearm, but I'm still inconsistent and I still like throwing backhand.)

4-day week is coming up. Next Saturday, I want to see Tulsa get half-a-hundred hung on them. I need to see the Sooners rip their opponents throats out, just like Dalton did not do to that dude in Road House despite what some fools claim. Boomer Sooner!

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Did Dalton rip the guy's throat out or is Ashford full of shit...as usual?

I always swore I would never say it, but...

...World's Smallest Violin Playing "Hearts and Flowers"

Gas prices hurting NASCAR teams, too

Boo fucking hoo. Maybe now the "NASCAR dads" will start to realize that voting for Bush was a bad idea. ("Price gouging Dale Jr.? Those rotten sons of bitches!")

As most of you know, or could figure out, I'm not a big NASCAR fan. As a matter of fact, I hope this is the death nell of the activity (it's not a damn sport!). With gas prices rising like crude to a derreck, we should probably be conserving gas instead of using it to drive around an oval a couple hundred times at 200 mph.

Stock Car: $250,000
Gallon of gas: $3.50
Seeing the death of Nascar in my lifetime: PRICELESS

Random stuff that comes to mind

My thoughts are with those effected by Hurricane Katrina, and by those effected I mainly mean myself next time I buy gas.

I saw Jon Heder and Aaron Ruell this evening taking questions about their claim to fame/meal ticket, that retarded-kid-on-acid masterpiece "Napolean Dynamite." The crowd that showed up to see them was pretty amazing...and the questions they asked were even more so. Does anyone actually give a shit what religion the guys who played Napolean and Kip subscribe to? (It's Mormonism, apparently, by the way.)

I played a pretty shitty round at Colonial Estates yesterday afternoon. My score wasn't too bad (+7), but that included 4 creek shots and some missed birdie putts on 6 and 12. I did find a DX Teebird while searching for one of those submerged discs, so that was nice. I've lost count of all the discs I've found this summer, but I still know I've lost 3. Requiescant in pace.

The OU Young Democrats meeting was awesome. So many people showed up. I'm looking forward to getting involved in the group and hopefully a campaign again. The best part of the meeting was the fact that we more than doubled the number that attended the College Republicans meeting. That gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, folks.

First goal seems to be a go. Hurray beer.
Second goal? Pure bullshit. I'm going to try my best though, goddamnit. I'm trying to keep in mind an expensive piece of advice I recieved this summer: You should define failure as not trying. Fucking A right.

Movie Review. Pornstar: The Legend of Ron Jeremy is pretty good. It mixes enough humor into the story of the Hedgehog to keep his biography interesting. Honestly, who doesn't want to hear the story of a short, fat, hairy Jewish guy from New York becoming a superstar because of his 9-3/4" penis? That, my friends, is the American Dream.

This week has been pretty strange by my standards. Strange enough to make me yearn for the weekend. And what a weekend it shall be...

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OU vs. TCU: Guess the score, win a cookie.